he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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