Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
