I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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