So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
