I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
