I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
