Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
