i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
