so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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