well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
