first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
