i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
