So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
