margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
