You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
