Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
