question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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