3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize