in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
