Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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