Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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