Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
