My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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