i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
