It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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