the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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