Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize