STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
