You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
