thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
