She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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