I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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