I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
