Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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