he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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