Duck Duck Cougar?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
