is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize