There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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