He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
