found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
In America we eat man semen.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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