we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
