So drunk its hurt
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
