i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
