Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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