That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
