Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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