I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
