I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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