Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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