Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
