my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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