His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
