I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
