Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
