Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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