wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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