We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
