I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
