I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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