The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My life is pants optional.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
