Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
