One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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