porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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