You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
