yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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