the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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