Don't you send me to vm
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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