That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he fucked my hip out of place.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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