Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
